the lesson learned

Not that long ago, I dated someone who didn't share my same faith in Jesus. I was willing to enter into this relationship, because part of me felt like I needed to...even though I knew full well that I would never marry him and that there was an expiration date to our dating relationship. Although I don't feel like it was a mistake, it was a hard lesson in the end. I came to realize how much I settled, and was willing to participate in something that was so far from what I hoped and dreamed for and desired for myself. Sure, there were sweet moments, but it always felt uneasy and unsteady. I tried, I wanted it to work, and I really saw in him so much potential to be a good man. But it wasn't enough, and who I was wasn't enough for him.

The story goes, that in the end, in His grace, I learned what it is I am waiting for, the type of person who I am meant to be with. I am not meant to be with someone whose heart is hard, and has no desire to know the God who created him. I am not meant to be with someone who lacks empathy and compassion, and just general decency towards other people. I am not meant to be with someone who does not have a living, breathing, every day relationship with Jesus.

I have a feeling he thinks I'm still hung up on him. True, there is a small sadness to be in tension or conflict with someone who you were once close to. But the truth is I am so happy to have gone through that valley and come out the other side stronger & wiser, more aware of my Lord and who I am in Him. I know who I'm waiting for — an amazing man of God who loves Jesus first, and loves me second. I am happy because God has a call on my life, and I have a hope and a confidence about love & romance that I didn't have before. For someone out there, who I am, is enough.

Maybe I should be embarrassed to write this, and to post it, but I'm not. This is all a part of my story, and I am glad to share my story with you.