random ponderings

I'm doing alright I think. Yes, in my life, there are positive things going on. I have my health, my family, some quality/amazing friends, I have money in the bank, food on the table, a great church I attend, my relationship with God is stable, and fairly good. I've had weekends off for a long time now, I've been able to visit great friends, with future trips planned. Today I laughed hysterically, and almost cried in that fit of laughter. As it stands, I'm doing relatively well.

And yet I have this nagging feeling of restlessness right now. I'm worrying about some people in my life, some situations. I'm patiently waiting for responses that will affect my future. I'm fighting feelings I don't want to have. I'm clearly being undervalued, unappreciated, taken for granted and just plain ignored.

And yet, I have a peace about it. As strange as it is to have this nagging restlessness, and feel peace...a dichotomy that doesn't really jive...that is exactly what I am feeling. It's a bit peculiar I know, but I can't fully explain it.

I can't be all things to all people. I will strive not to please others, but to please God. But for what it's worth, I am enough. Not too much, not too less. People either should take me for who I am, or not at all. I think for a time I lost sight of that, temporarily, hence the 'nagging feeling of restlessness'. But I realize that I cannot worry about the things I cannot change. I cannot worry about the actions and decisions of other people. I just have to lead my life, the best I know how, soaking in all that is good and beautiful and worthy of my attention.

That is enough random ponderings for one night.

Peace <><