the long walk at midnight

I wish sometimes that my intentions behind my words were more clear. That my hearts words would express themselves more eloquently. That I could speak truth in grace, more often. That I didn't read into situations more than necessary, that I wouldn't take things so personally.

But sometimes I just don't know how to be any other way. I'm getting better, God's smoothing out those rough edges, I feel like there are so many. But I'm still learning. And usually it's by learning the hard way.

And the hard way hurts, and creates heaviness. And although I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve in the way that I do...I do. And it affects me, and it affects the people I love, and it creates messiness.

And what is even harder is that I don't have control and I can't have it. I have to let God be at the center, I have to let Him work things out...between me and other people, in situations that are beyond my control.

But I care, give me that much.